For the love of fashion
Inner child joy & the comparison trap
From as far back as I can remember I have been a fashion lover. My favorite thing in the world was to play dress up. I remember the thrill of the little girl dress up parties hosted in my home town in Illinois. These birthday parties were held in a giant room filled with dresses, tutu’s, purses, and all the sparkly shoes my little heart desired. There were vanities for hair and makeup - do you remember the little makeup kits made for kids? And once adorned, we sat down for tea time, which I can only imagine was PB&J sandwiches, apple juice and birthday cake, of course.
My mom was a stay-at-home mom, but before having kids she worked as a hairstylist. We spent hours at home alone together and I would take full advantage of her beauty store supply discount. For fun, I would ask her to cut my hair into a bob, perm it, crimp it, curl and style it. I loved to get dressed up, put on my mom’s lipstick, paint my nails, and have her take photos of me.
My mom likes to joke about coming to watch my softball games. The coach would have me ‘covering’ second base, but I could not be bothered to pay attention to the game. My only concern was the runner on 2nd, and what accessories she was wearing. The ball could fly right by me and all I cared about was what sneakers she was wearing, and what jewelry she had on. When I got home I would tell my mom about how I liked the baby blue curly shoelaces or the purple butterfly stud earrings so and so wore.
I’m not sure where my love of fashion came from as it was before the internet, social media and I don’t recall ever having fashion magazines around until I was older. However, I do know that my attention to detail, love of fashion, and the impulse to express myself through it was always there. When other kids were asking for toys and barbies for Christmas, I was asking for a black velvet matching set with yellow flower accents.
In my last post I mentioned one of my favorite vintage stores, Le Grand Strip, and it got me thinking about my most recent visit. During my trip to NY last month, I met up with a group of girlfriends for lunch followed by a little shopping. We first stopped by the Tangerine sample sale because we were in the neighborhood, and when a friend told me she was on the lookout for two occasion dresses I recommended Le Grand Strip.
It would be easy to pass by the shop and not go in — the window is filled with sequined dresses and feather boas…not what I’m usually in the market for. It’s a true vintage store filled with the most fabulous period pieces. The kind you really need to look hanger by hanger to fully appreciate the details. The owner is equally as passionate about vintage, which makes it so much more fun. I once tried on a beautiful pair of Chanel heels to which she eagerly told me that I was wearing a piece of history - they came from “Rosie the Riveter’s” personal collection. Apparently, she was quite the fashionista.
Anyway, back to my last visit. I had walked in with a few friends, two of which we lost after 15 minutes due to tired feet, and dwindling enthusiasm. Fair enough. For the first while, we were only on the hunt for our friend, determined to find her the perfect party dress. But as we worked our way through the racks, it was impossible to hold back. We started trying on, just for fun, and our excitement kept growing like when Carrie was let into the Vogue closet and discovered the patent Mary Jane Manolos. I easily tried on three dresses that I would be more than happy to wear to my future wedding.
It was like we had been sucked into a vortex. Every 30 minutes or so we would say that we should go…we needed water, food, and to sit down, but every time we were about to leave one of us would discover something a m a z i n g that we would have to debate for awhile if we needed it…if it needed us. We were drunk on fashion and somehow almost 5 hours had gone by.
My friend-Tina left with a white negligee that had a matching sheer robe complete with a silk collar, slightly puffed sleeves and a beaded rose brooch. I know it sounds like an unnecessary impulse purchase, but I swear she wore this nightgown in a past life. This thing was so special-photos don’t do it justice. I left with a simple black gauzy (is this a word) long sleeve dress with frayed edges and a tie for the waist. I first tried it on the way it’s meant to be worn, but then I started getting creative with the tie and easily made 15 different looks out of it. I think all the ways to wear this dress will need its own dedicated post. I decided it met all my criteria - beautiful, versatile, comfortable, and practical, so I threw down my card. It cost ~$120 and I’ve already worn it at least once a week since so I’d say it was a good buy.
At some point, another woman emerged from the back of the store wearing a gigantic white cupcake 80’s style dress complete with a veil and 5” patent platforms. She was shopping for an upcoming NYFW event for which she was the designer’s ‘muse’. Mind you, she couldn’t have been more than 5’ tall. She was giddy with excitement, and exclaimed that this dress was her entire personality and that she will be wearing this with Converse down the streets of NY on any given Wednesday.
We finally left the store famished, exhausted, and satisfied. It was one of the most fun shopping experiences I’ve had in a long time and brought me right back to being that little girl playing dress up. It was a reminder that fashion is meant to be fun!
Fast forward a few weeks, I was at a great Thai restaurant near where I live. We were sitting outside at a picnic table and the owner’s five year old daughter was walking around entertaining herself. She had on a dress with a pink tulle bottom, a bright pink purse in the shape of a cat draped across her body, gray and pink sneakers, a pink beaded necklace, pink barrettes holding her pigtails in place, and matching pink blush and lipstick. We were the only people there and she walked straight up to me. Without saying a word she grabbed my purse on the bench and promptly opened it to see what I had inside. Then, still without saying anything, opened her purse and started emptying its contents onto the table in front of me to show me what she was carrying. A zip up pouch with a photo of Elsa from Frozen, ‘rainbow’ perfume, a blue and pink makeup pallet, an application brush and a stick of something I could not identify. We exchanged a few words before she walked away, leaving her belongings behind. I thought to myself “this is exactly what I was like”. I felt like the universe sent her to me to remind me of the spirit of my inner child and my genuine love of fashion.
That being said, there are times that fashion isn’t fun for me. But, if you’re not enjoying browsing, touching, feeling, buying and wearing something, why waste your time and money on it?
Every woman knows the feeling of being in a fashion rut. From not feeling great physically, changing taste, lack of or reprioritizing funds. It’s so easy to get caught in the comparison or lack trap when it comes to fashion…especially when the seasons are changing and there are endless fall edits telling us what to buy and pointing out the gaps in our wardrobe. Believe me, I’ve impulse purchased to try to boost my self esteem, and ultimately it’s a losing game.
All this to say, like everything, fashion goes in phases and seasons. If you’re not feeling enthusiastic about fashion (but wish you were) try to find people that inspire you and get you excited! Whether it’s someone who shows you how to score at Goodwill (one of my favorites btw), or someone talking about the next $2,000 ‘it’ bag. Whatever floats your boat and your budget. But, if you’re still not feeling it, there’s no harm in sitting this one out. If following someone makes you compare, or feel not good enough, unfollow or mute for now. I know, easier said than done.
Soon I will be putting together my own fall/winter edit. Personally, I’m working to be more thoughtful and strategic about my consumption (even if I sometimes miss the mark). The purpose here isn’t to send constant lists of things you need or must have, but hopefully a few things that may inspire you in your own fashion journey. If you’re saving every penny to pay off credit card debt, student loans, saving for a house, or whatever…good for you! Put your blinders on, skip over my next post and don’t let any fall edit or ‘it’ bag make you feel like you need to keep up.
This reminds me of the saying “look people in the eye and they won’t notice what you’re wearing”. Is that an actual saying or just something I heard once? Either way, I think it’s true…but, so is the power of a great outfit. :)
Thanks for reading!
xx
Alas, I was the friend who lost enthusiasm 🤣
sweet baby kel!